The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Living Alone

               By: Scott Winters

There are a lot of teenagers that say, “I can’t wait to move out of my parents’ house.” For a lot of people this happens at the age of 18-20 years old. I’m only 16 years old and I’ve already gotten a little taste of what living alone really feels like, and it’s not like you’d imagine it to be.

No rules, any bedtime you want, walking around the house naked. Not a bad life you’d think. But, living alone not only takes away the comfort of being with family but it also requires an insane amount of responsibility. And for most teenagers, responsibility barely exists. Balancing out everything in your life by yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds. I have to go to high school while maintaining a job to supply food for myself and figure out time to spend with my best friends and girl friend. This is all done by getting rides from my friends because I lack a drivers’ license.



I mean, it’s not like I’m living completely alone. I do have my older sister but she works full time at Burger King. Going home to an empty house everyday is too lonely. So why bother with it? It makes much more sense to stay out all night with my friends, right? No. I haven’t gone to bed on time in almost a week and I’m exhausted.

My grades are being affected, my health, and my sanity. Responsibility has hit me like a drunken man hits his wife. In order to live on your own you need to know what you’re doing. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing. Any teenager would probably have a hard time living this way. After 16 years of living with your parents, it’s really hard to just not have them anymore.

Something to keep in mind, keep in touch with your parents. Maybe if my mom called me every night to make sure I was home, I’d be home a little bit more. It seems the only reasons most parents want to talk to their kids is when they want to yell at them for something. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is for me. My mom will leave me alone if I’m not doing anything wrong, but doing things wrong is just what I do. Everything I touch tends to break and thinking before doing things isn’t a natural talent of mine. Some people (including myself in this situation) might get confused with life and that could ultimately lead to being depressed. When nothing but bad things happen, it’s hard to see a good side. So I guess another tip I’d say is to stay as happy and content with your life as possible.

This is gross.

This is gross.

A major topic to discuss is cleaning and hygiene. Nobody is there to tell you to clean the kitchen or do the laundry. You need to get on that stuff by yourself. If you’re lazy and don’t clean up after yourself, you’re going to be living in your own filth in no time. So do the dishes every night and do some laundry. Then if you get those down you could go as far as making your bed when you wake up in the morning! Speaking of mornings, shower! I’m the worst when it comes to waking up to an alarm clock. I have at least 30 late entries to school this year from not waking up. About 20 of those have been since I moved out of my mom’s house. If you aren’t able to wake up to an alarm clock, you better learn fast or you’ll be getting a lot of detentions for unexcused tardies to school. Set your alarm so you have enough time to hop in the shower and eat breakfast in the morning while being on time for school.fat guy crying

These tips are meant for anyone thinking about    moving out or have already. I didn’t just write this  for other people to get up on their feet. I will use this paper as a manual for my own life and refer to it as much as possible. I tend to stray off track of what I’m supposed to be doing but that’s just a part of growing up. You have to change a lot and be able to make choices that benefit you and will lead to a successful and happy life.


Mexican Love Affair


In this generation there are many people who obsess over many things. There’s bands, television shows, actors, etc. But one of the most common obsessions that I have recognized is the obsession with…. Taco Bell. I believe they have perfect reasoning to obsess over this delicious food that makes people’s mouths water with just the thought. So this will be an article convincing you why you should go eat at taco bell today.

First reason is tacos. If you don’t enjoy some version of a taco… feel free to never talk to me. There are so many different variations of a taco that you make. Even vegetarians can eat them with their fake meat! I mean I won’t eat just anything stuffed into a tortilla or hard shell but I know when something is going to be delicious. Even a taco salad could still fall under the category of a taco if you don’t enjoy the shell or you’re just afraid to eat with those filthy paws.

My next reason is the Baja Blast. If you’re a lover of Mtn Dew and you haven’t had this drink, then you don’t deserve to call yourself a true lover of Mtn Dew.  I recently encountered the deal of a life time. I feel like I was part of the Louisiana Purchase when I came upon this wonderful deal. You may already know what I’m talking about, the big box meal for $10. It comes with 12 tacos in one nicely decorated box. That means every taco costs less than one dollar!
I really believe that most of the population loves tacos. This post was not just for taco bell, but for tacos in general. I’d like to thank the whole Mexican population for sharing your delicious meals with us Americans. WE LOVE YOU FOR YOUR TACOS.

You Inspire Me

this girl…


Many bands try to inspire their fans, with either their song lyrics or just quotes. These can inspire you to go out to live life, to boost your self confidence, or just to not end your life.

“It gets better. It always gets better. Life will never put you through more than you can handle.”

-Austin Carlile, Of Mice And Men

“Wrists are for bracelets, not cutting”

-Kellin Quinn, Sleeping With Sirens

“I want you to pinky promise me you won’t do it, No fan of mine will ever kill themselves, do it for me. I love you”

-Alex Gaskarth, All Time Low

“We want you to live. We want to save your lives. You saved ours. We never want to let a single thing hurt any of you.”

– Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance

“Beauty is not judge by the size of your jeans”

– Jack Barakat, All Time…

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Why Hate The Hicks?

They’re actually pretty nice people.

In high school there is a lot of hate that is thrown at the kids that wear steel toe boots and Carhartt clothing. This hate mainly comes from the kids like me. The skinny jean wearing, scream-o music, band t-shirt kids. Now, I know why the two groups don’t like each other very much but there’s no reason for hate. Here is an article telling all you skinny jean wearing kids why you should make friends with the hicks.

The first reason is automobiles. Hicks spend pretty much all of their time working on their big ol’ trucks and nice cars. Do you know what that means? It means if you ever have car trouble, they could help you out. In my school we have an auto shop. Almost every hick in my school takes the automotive class. If you aren’t on their good side and you bring your car in there to get fixed… you might get screwed over. One of the best things about the hicks, they’re great with vehicles. Stay on their good side and you might find yourself with a lot of help with your car in the future. I’ve been stuck in a lot of situations with my friend where we could have used a good hick friend but we weren’t able to get a hold of one because we don’t have any of their phone numbers. It may not seem important now but when you’re sitting on the side of the road because your car broke down, it’s always nice to be able to call a hick to help you out with it.

Next reason, ZOMBIES! If the zombie apocalypse was to ever happen, who do you think would survive? It certainly wouldn’t be my group of friends. But, if you happen to be friends with some of the toughest people around, you might just have a chance defending yourself against the living dead. Hicks tend to be hunters. They enjoy killing things for game. And they like using big guns to do it with. In the typical “Hick household” you’ll most likely find lots of meat, and lots of bad ass weapons.  Hicks are killing machines when it comes to these kinds of things. I haven’t even gotten to the fact that a lot of them have huge trucks and fast cars. Hicks spend almost all of their money on their vehicles. And it really pays off in the end. You can always hear when a hick is pulling into the Wal-Mart parking lot. Their trucks may be gas guzzlers but in a zombie apocalypse they are one the best things you could have. If you want to survive, call the hicks.

My final reason is protection from any threats in high school. If someone wants to beat the crap out of you and you’re just some skinny kid who can’t defend yourself, who you gonna call? Not ghost busters. Instead, you could call some hicks to have your back. Nobody messes with the hicks. Cause nobody feels like taking a steel-toe boot up the ass. That’s why them having your back can be the most intimidating thing in a fight. If someone who wants to fight you knows you have a hick in your contacts, almost 100% of the time they won’t even touch you.

Hicks may be obnoxious sometimes but they might think the same about you. Everybody has their own way of living life. There’s just happens to be a lot more manly than most peoples. Trust me when I say this, Get on the hick’s good side.  It can only lead to good things in the end.

The iPhone Girl

As I Walked through Wal-Mart that day

This Crazy Girl began to say

I want an iPhone, Mom and Dad

If I don’t get one, I will be mad

I’ll go to jail any day

Before going home with you, I’d say

My Pawents uhh ugry!, she said with a lisp

Everyone could tell she was really pissed

So as the girl began to swing

Security had got a ring

And as she stormed down the halls

Security tackled her, because they’ve got balls

Even though she was only 13

Security knew she was really mean

Wal-Mart is a ghetto place

Next time I go I’ll bring some mace

K- Pop is Here!

Recently I was opened up to a new generation of music. In some crazy way, a genre of music called k-pop has made its way into America and into the heads of millions of people. Now k-pop stands for “Korean pop.”

And honestly speaking, it’s pretty catchy and I’ve gotten a little sick of American pop stars anyways. Whenever I used to see Hannah Montana I had the sudden urge to down a bottle of Tylenol. But now, there’s a better( and i would say way more attractive) pop star who doesn’t even live in the U.S.A. She goes by the name Hyuna and is obviously Korean. She’s done work with some of the more popular k-pop stars in Korea already and it is perfect. I listen to post- hardcore bands and even I have a taste for this new wave of music. This song was the first song I have ever heard from this new artist…

While watching this I had mixed feelings about it. I mean it was sexy and cute and what not, but it also humored me. Watching her try to make the video connect to American audiences was hilarious. I saw words like ” meow, oh my gosh, chop- chop, etc.” I find this so funny because in America, we don’t talk like that at all. But i respect her for trying. Obviously she has connected to the world using her music and even her videos have like 30,000,000 views!

Make ’em Urinate Themselves!

In my line of work I’m able to take the art of terror and use it against you in many ways. Working in a haunted house I see crazy things happen and insane reactions every night I work. One of my favorite reactions just happens to be… The pee pants. Whenever I jump out to scare someone and hear ” Oh my god, I pissed my pants!”, I’m able to go home at night and sleep with a smile on my face.                                                                                 WhereIwork>>>

Come see me at my work and I’ll give you a scare with a side of a warm feeling on your leg.
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